Ok so today I feel like crap. My head is stuffy, my sinus is are draining and making my throat hurt and I just want to put my pjs on and crawl into bed and go to sleep all weekend long. Even with feeling like this I still came to work today and have put in 7 hours. I cannot afford to lose any hours because I have to have a total of 130 hours per month logged in. On top of that I have homework to do. I finished my first class in college and received a 98%. I am in week 1 of my second class PSY 202 so far so good I am doing really well in that class also. I try to keep ahead on my work by doing each thing a week in advance and then posting whenever it is due. So far this plan has really helped me not to feel overwhelmed and stressed out. My coworker gave me that idea because that is what she does. I am so ready to leave Kentucky. This state to me is so depressing because I feel that I have no one to turn to. It seems like everytime you feel like you can trust someone they look you in the eye and smile while stabbing you in the back. It really hurts my feelings that the people that you love the most hurt you the most. I so need a vacation, just to get away from everything and everybody but us 6. I need to relax and not think about anything or anyone. Sometimes I just want to SCREAM!!!!! Well on a good note, I have officially lost 100 pounds!!!! Yay me and it only took me 9 months. Most people are like you had surgery you should have lost it faster but, my doctor said that it is good that I am losing it slowly because I am more likly to keep the weight off this way. I am happy and I feel so much better. Well I am almost ready to go home and crawl into bed for the weekend.
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So far this New Year has been one bad thing after another!! First the deal with our SUV and we had to go out and buy another truck which put our bank account in the red, then I dropped my phone and cracked the screen, but I can still use it. Kia-Leigh has been sick and she is not really getting any better. Now our food stamps have been discontinued because they are trying to say we didn't turn in a paper that we did turn in and they told us they had it. They even looked on the computer and showed us that they had it, now they are trying to tell us that they never recieved it and we didn't get our stamps today!!! I will be so glad when all of this mess is cleared up. Also Sarah's social worker is giving her the run around all the time. She is supposted to be getting 2 visits a week and they still haven't set that up, she only gets 1. Also they told her that the only thing that they need done for Jose to be able to go home is for her to have a CATS test done which was supposted to already be scheduled, but they didn't get scheduled until Febuary and then she found out that the worker decided to reschedule it for March and then she was supposted to be the next one up to get in if someone canceled an appointment, but the worker cancelled that too. They are just doing anything and everything to keep this going and not let him go home and it is totally pissing me off. I am so hating Kentucky!! I don't mean all people in Kentucky are bad it just seems like the system that I am dealing with sucks!! I want so bad just to leave this state and start over somewhere else where no one knows us. I don't even like my in-laws, they suck too because they are always up in our business and always wanting something!!! Don't get me wrong I love my husband, Amanda, Anthony, Dalton, Kia-Leigh, Jose, Perla, Daniella, Sarah and Gato. I even love my Dad, Luther and even Cody. I am very upset with Cody because I feel that he has turned his back on me and he treats me with total disrespect and I know he was raised better than that. He even admitted that he treated my mom with disrespect and even made her cry at times because of his attitude. I just can't believe that with her gone and the way he did her that he would continue in this behavior with me. I am so disappointed with him I just don't know what to say or do. All of this stress is really getting to me and I really don't like it one bit. I am not loseing any weight, I am not gaining any but I am not loseing any either and then that stresses me also. Work is going good, at least it gives me a distraction from the headaches of my life. I feel some days that I am really making a difference in peoples lives and then other days people just piss me off and I want to scream. Well I better get off of here and finish writing this paper that is due next week for school. I am in week 4 of the 1st class and I only have 1 more week to go in this class and then I start PSY 201 on 1/17/12. At least that is one part of my life that is going smoothly, I have a 98% grade in my first class and I am really proud of myself for that. Let's just hope that this weekend I can rest and spend an enjoyable time with my husband and kids.
Well 2012 has arrived and boy did it come in strange. 1st off on New Years Eve the transmission went out in our vehicle so we were out of a vehicle until yesterday. We went and got us a 2001 Chevy Silverado. My husband is in love with it. He does odd jobs and this truck is going to come in so handy for him. He hates sitting around and not being able to do anything so at least he can piddle around during the day while I am at work and make him a little money on the side. We spent New Years Eve at home with the kids. Sarah and Gato came over also. I made homemade caramel popcorn and peach whip. We played Michael Jackson The Experience for the Wii and boy did we have a blast. It is so driving everyone crazy because they can't beat my high score on the Thriller Dance. I am really having a lot of fun with this game and it really does give you a workout. I am still at 224 pounds but I can see with my clothes that I am smaller so I guess I am gaining muscle and that is a good thing. I keep raiding my daughters closet every morning to find stuff to wear. She is at school whenever I go to work so whenever I come home from work she is home and she will say "hey I see you were in my closet". She thinks that it is cool that we can wear each other's clothes. Even my daughter who is married comes over sometimes and raids my closet. One day I had on my son's t-shirt and he said "hey that's my shirt". I told him he souldn't put his stuff in my room. LOL! I think I am haveing too much fun with this weightloss thing. It is finally fun to go to the store for clothes. Sometimes it is hard because I used to search for the biggest size that I could find so that way I could cover up all of my rolls, but now it is kind of strange because I hold up clothes that fit and they look to small. I mind hasn't caught up to my size I guess. I found some old pictures of me about 2-3 years ago and I was just so amazed at the difference that 98 pounds make. Well I have lost 98 pounds since 4/1/11 but before that I had lost 43 pounds. My highest weight was 365 pounds and then on 4/1/11 I weighed 322 and now I am at 224. It felt so good to weigh in and be under 300 pounds. Now I am looking forward to being under 200 pounds. Well I better get on back to work. Happy ready ya'll!!
Well in 45 minutes my 3 day weekend will officially start. I really cannot wait!! I haven't been feeling to good for the past 2 days and today I feel really icky. I really hope that I am not coming down with something because I want to have fun with the kids on New Year's Eve which is tomorrow night. I have been feeling totally drained of all energy here lately and I don't like that. I know the reason that my weight loss is at a stand still is because I haven't been exercising like I know I should be doing. I am going to start the New Year off right and I am going to try and exercise at least 5 times a week using my Wii Fit Plus with balance board. Why go to all the trouble of buying something and then not put it to good use? That is so crazy!! I have allowed myself to splurge a little over the holidays and I have tried to tell myself that there is nothing wrong with doing that, but the mind is a very complicated thing and it keeps telling me that I should never have any goodies and when I do I sometimes feel so bad about it. I know that it is just my mind playing tricks on me because of all the years of bad habits with food that I had. Now I am having to retrain my way of thinking. I have also learned that holidays are not just about the food. Even though it is really nice to have a nice big dinner for my family I have learned to enjoy other things also and not just the food. Take for instance on New Years Eve yes we will have food, but we are also going to be spending time together and playing games and just doing all kinds of stuff like that. I am really looking forward to it. One thing that has been hard for me though is not having Mom around. On January the 3rd it will be 2 years since she has been gone and sometimes it is still really hard for me and the depression weighs heavy on me. I mostly try to stay positive and try to not think about it or let it get to me, but still it is hard. Some people say that it does get easier with time, but there are others that say that it is still hard for them too. We try to talk about the good times that we had with her because we don't ever want her memory to disappear. She was an awesome woman of God and she is still greatly loved and missed by a lot of people. Anthony and Amanda had their wisdom teeth pulled out 3 days ago and they are doing ok with it. They still have some swelling and discomfort but I am told that that is normal and they should be fine by the first of the week which is when they go back to school. My winter break will be over on the 3rd. I have spent my two weeks doing work ahead so that way when school starts back I will be ahead and it will be easier on me. I think that I am addicted to peppermints!!! LOL! I know I jump around and change subjects a lot, but that is just me. Anyway I have a candy jar full of peppermints on my desk at work and another one on my nightstand at home. I am not sure what it is about them, but they are soooooo good. Today at work we had a birthday party for one of the men that volunteers here. He turned 75 years old today and I had always thought that he was a quiet person. Boy was I wrong!! There was 2 of his friends and 2 people that work here also besides me and boy did they all talk a lot. I found out that when they were younger they were wild and rowdy young men and that they were in to everything. I also overheard the birthday man tell one of his friends say "Like my daddy always said, I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still lick the jar. Having no teeth just makes it that much better". OMG when I heard all that I just kept on working and tried to act like I didn't hear a thing. I did laugh to myself though and thought you dirty old men, you probably would know what to do with it if you did have it. I think old people are so funny!! Well I better get off of here so I can start shutting things down and go on home where I will put on some pjs, sit in my bed, eat peppermints and watch tv all weekend long!!!!! Oh and Happy New Year to you all and I will write again with the New Year!!!!
Wow drama, drama, drama... I so feel like I work and live on a soap opera set. Sometimes it is so funny but, other times it drives me up a wall. Gosip runs wild at work and with my in-laws. I don't understand why people find it nessicary to cause trouble all of the time. Why can't my life be calm and stress free?? I have started an Online Bible Study that was offered for free. So far it is really good. I know I have a lot on my plate right now but, I felt like I really needed this Bible Study because I feel like I really need to bring in the New Year on a good note. I have been a little to laid back with God and not doing what I know to do, how I was raised to do. My mom would be so disappointed in me and I don't like knowing that. I need to set a better example for my children. We are preparing over the next 6 months to move. We really feel that this is going to be in the best interest for ourselves and our children. I have decided that I am not going to allow drama and unnessicary stress into my life. Charles started a coraspondance Bible Study Course and he has been reading the book Prayers That Availeth Much and he is really enjoying it. I found his eye glasses for him so he has been trying to read as much as he can. He claims that he hates reading but, I have caught him reading more and more here lately. He is enrolling in his GED classes the first of the year and I am so excited for him. It will give him 6 months to complete the courses and take the test so he can receive the credit from Kentucky for getting his GED. That money he can either use for the move or buy himself a really special present. I really don't mind either way how he uses it really. I am buying him something and having a big party with our household and Sarah and Gato when he graduates because I want this to be something special for him so that way he knows that he has doing something important. Then when we get moved and settled he says that he has plans to go to college. I am so proud of him!! I feel like he is making a good step with his life and setting an awesome example for our kids. This has been the longest week of my life!! Even though it has only been a 4 day work week I have had to pull 10 1/2 hour shifts because I had missed some hours during the month and had to make them up. I told Charles that next month is so not going to be like this because I am not going to wait until the end of the month and play hurry up and catch up. If everything goes the way that I have it planned then I am going to have some extra hours banked and I will be so happy. I go to the child support office next month over my ex and I really hope that they actually do something because I am so tired of dead-beat parents not paying child support that is owed. If you want to have children then you should support them. If you don't want to support them then you need to either allow the step-parent who is supporting them to adopt them or pay what is owed to them. I have a lot of opinions about things and it makes some people mad but, you know what you can't please everyone and I have stopped trying to please everyone. I have tried so hard over the years to please everyone and I have stopped trying to do it. It is to hard to please everyone because what happens it when you try to please everyone then you wear yourself out and then in the end someone is going to get mad. I am so tired of trying to baby everyone to keep them in a good mood and then those same people turn on you like a pack of wolves. Family is the worst when it comes to stabing someone in the back. That is why I am only concerned with the people in my house and Sarah and her little family. When it comes to needing help with anything the only ones that have had my back with this family has been the ones in my house and Sarah and Gato. I am going to give credit where credit is due. Well I better quit writting and get back to work. Please keep reading and supporting me and referring me to your friends and family. Thank you!!
Well Christmas came and went and I guess it went pretty good. We had to take Kia-Leigh to the ER that morning because she was having trouble with her breathing and a cough. Charles is taking her to the doctor this afternoon because she is getting worse and the ER was of no help. It aggrivates me when you take a sick child to the ER and the doctor doesn't even look at the child or do any tests and then tells you to follow up with your own doctor if the child gets any worse. Well what is the point of wasting time and money taking your child to the ER in the first place. Sometimes you go and you get a really wonderful doctor that goes above and beyond their duty and they take excellent care of your child but, then you get someone that acts as though they don't want to do their job and those are the ones that ride my last nerve. After taking Kia-Leigh to the ER we were on our way home and she said to me, "I can't wait until Christmas". I said "Kia-Leigh it is Christmas". She said "But it isn't snowing". She makes me laugh because she is always saying something off the wall. For Christmas dinner we had Sarah, Gato, Jose, Anthony, Amanda, Dalton, Kia-Leigh, Charles and Myself to feed and we all had a really good time eating and spending time together. Everyone (the adults that is) said that my bourbon balls were to strong. LOL! The only down side to the day was that Charles's family texted and called him saying that he was no good and that they didn't like me because I won't allow them to make a difference in our children. We are looking to make a move to Florida in June because we are wanting to make a fresh start with the kids. They really need it and so do we because I feel that it will be a less stressfull invironment for all of us. I am still on Christmas break from school untill January the 3rd. I am still doing my reading and trying to work ahead with my homework so that way when school does start back I won't get behind. I just finished Chapter 12 in my book that I am writing. It is going pretty good, sometimes the process is so slow and I would like to write faster than what I have been but with work, school, kids and the holidays it has been hard to find time to write. I go next month to the child support office on my ex to see if they are going to garnish his wages and make him pay the back support that he owes me. I probably will never see a dime but at least it is worth a try. We are also going to court next month to have Amanda's last name changed for her birthday. She asked me and my husband about it this year and we decided that she is old enough and if that is something that she wants to do the we are perfectly happy to do it for her. My husband was so happy when she told him and he even cried. I still haven't talked to Cody and it has been almost 3 months since I have heard from him and it really does bother me even though I have tried really hard not to. I spoke to Luther over the holidays and he is doing really good. He works full time at McDonald's and he is also going to college to get a degree in Forensic Science. I am so proud of him. Dad says he is doing ok too. So all in all everyone is doing well. I better close this for now so I can get back to work. Happy reading and please pass my blog along to all of your friends if you find it worth reading and please support my book if you find it worth reading pass it along to someone if you feel that they might enjoy reading it. Also if anyone has any feedback on my writing please let me know because I welcome constructive critasizem.
Ok so there are 2 more days until Christmas and I am trying so hard to not be depressed during the holidays but, my in-laws are putting so much stress on me. I have been raised to believe that with kids there are no labels of step, his or mine. For me it has always been our kids, thats it. Well when my mom was alive she always treated all of the kids equal. She wouldn't buy for one and not the others and she loved them all with all of her heart. Well my husband and myself have learned that from her and we treat all the kids the same. Well my mother-in-law and all of the in-laws aperently don't see it that way and it causes alot of tension and hurt feelings in our home. They want to buy for Anthony and not the other 3 kids in our home which really upsets me. If I say anything about it they want to tell me to mind my own business, but anything that affects the children in my home is my business!! I can't wait for these next 6 months to pass because we are seriously planning a move to Florida. That way we can start over and raise the kids without all of the stress and drama that is caused by my husbands family. I have been in this family for 12 years now and it has not gotten any better, it has only gotten worse every day that passes by. Since my mother has passed away it seems as though we have no family left except our children and 2 of them have tottaly turned thier backs on us. Bobby, Charles's son (well really his brother because his Dad couldn't keep it in his pants and got his ex-wife pregnant, but that is a whole nother story in itself), won't have anything to do with us and he is so mean to Charles which really hurt him because he was so good to Bobby growning up and he gave him everything he wanted no matter the cost. And then their is my son Cody, he moved out 3 months ago and I haven't heard from him since which really hurts me so bad because I was really close to Cody. He has tottaly turned his back on me, my husband and his brothers and sisters and his neices and nephews also. I don't think it would hurt so bad if I has really done something to him but, in all honesty I don't know why he is acting this way. I wish I could make some sence out of it all. If my mom were still living she would be so hurt about all of this. I really wish she was still living because I don't have anyone I can turn to and talk to about everything that is going on. Sometimes I just feel like I am going to explode because of all of the stress that this is causing. It is even putting a strain on my marriage and that is never a good thing. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband with all of my heart and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. It is just that we have alot of outside stress and it seems that sometimes we take it out on each other with our words. The children really don't need all of this stress either. It is hard enough growing up in this day and age with out your family being out of wack!! Well on a better note I am going to try my hand at making bourbon balls, bread pudding with brandy sauce, carmel popcorn, cloud nine fruit salad and some other things for Christmas. I just found out this morning that my daughter is making a turkey and bringing it to Christmas dinner. I can't wait because it is her first Christmas being married and she has such a wonderful husband. He is so good to her and I am so proud of both of them. They are getting ready for their new bundle of joy, it is going to be a girl and I can't wait to see her because I know she is going to be just as beautiful as her mother. They painted her and her brothers bedroom and are getting it all set up. I haven't got to see it yet and I really need to go see it. They also just fixed up their bathroom and she said it is really nice so I need to go look at that to. I am really proud of her because she has done alot of growning up and she has changed for the good. She has turned into a beautiful young woman whom I am very proud of. I know if her grandmother and mother was still living that they would be proud of her also. She got her GED and now she is signed up to go to college. She is setting a very good example for her children. I have went back to college and now Charles is going to be going to get his GED as soon as the new year gets here. Then after he passes that test we are going to encourage him to get some type of degree because even if he doesn't do anything with them at least he can have the knowledge and the satisfaction of saying that he competed something and acomplished something. I may not have anyone that I can really talk to about things but at least I can blog and I have found that when I am done writing it really does make me feel so much better. Well if I don't blog again before Christmas, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!!
On the drive to work this morning I sang Christmas carols really loud. I was by myself and I just felt like singing. Then I got to thinking about Mom. We used to have so much fun together. We would cook, sing, play games and eat. We all used to have such a fun time. Now with her gone (this makes the second year) it just seems like Christmas just isn't the same. I don't have the joy like I used to it seems. We used to plan our trip to SC so that way we could all be together for the holidays. Another thing that is bothering me too is that Cody doesn't have anything to do with me anymore. He moved out over 2 months ago and now he won't talk to me. He won't text or call me, he has blocked me from his facebook and twitter. I just don't know what went wrong between us. If I had done something to him or against him I could more understand it but, honestly I haven't really done anything. I am trying really hard to be festive this year though in spite of everything because I do have children and grandchildren so I have to be jolly for them because they don't deserve to have me greaveing. I am going to be making some bourbon balls, peanutbutter balls, cookies, cakes and pies this year for the kids so that way they can at least have the holiday happy. Me and the girls are cooking Christmas dinner together this year so that will be fun. All of my in-laws are getting together for Christmas except us because we were not invited. Also we are having my brother-in-law and his girlfriend over because they were not invited either. That is such a crock of crap!!! They get on my last nerve!! The holidays are supposted to be about family and they all act like their crap don't stink and that they are better than everyone else!! Ain't nobody better than me and I am not any better than anyone else either. Things like that just piss me off!! Well enough of that, school is going great I just finished up week 3 in my 1st class and my grade is a 99% which is an A+ and that makes me so happy. Oh and we are off for Christmas break until January 3rd. Then it is back to work and only 2 more weeks on my first class and then I start my second class which will be PSY 202. That class ought to prove interesting. Well I better get off here!!
I am into my 2nd week of college now. The first week went by pretty good and I finished all of my homework. I have already turned in 2 assignments for this week and I have to more to do, one of which is due tomorrow and the other is due on Saturday. I am trying to stay ahead and on top of things so that way I don't get overwhelmed. Work is going good. I was so afraid that I was going to have to quit and I really didn't want to do that because I love what I do. I work for a non-profit organization and I run the referral line to help people with food and cleaning supplies. It gets hectic at times and sometimes the people are rude and they act like you owe them a living but all in all most people are greatful to recieve help and all that you do for them. We are in the process of moving into a new house and that is a full time job in itself. We are moving the big stuff today and then the odds and ends this weekend or whenever. We have until the 18th of this month to have everything out of the old house. The new house is a 3 bedroom and 1 1/2 bathrooms and a large fenced in back yard. The best part of all the rent is way cheap and it is in a nice neighborhood. We are hoping to be able to move to Florida in the summer but until then at least we can save money by having the cheaper rent. We have always wanted to live in Daytona Beach Florida. We have stayed there on vacation and we have always loved it. We have no one really in Kentucky except our daughter, her husband and child. We told them if they wanted to they could move with us or visit us for vacation whenever they wanted to. Moveing wouldn't be a problem with my school either because my classes are all online. Well so far I have lost a total of 98 pounds and I am now down to 224 pounds and I feel better than ever. It is so awesome to be able to go to my daughters closet and pull out an outfit and be able to wear it. I also wear alot of my husbands t-shirts too. I have always wanted to be able to wear my husbands shirts I don't know why but I have and now I actually can and it makes me feel so good. It is really funny because Dalton, the six year old, came up to me the other day and said "hey that's daddy's shirt". I just laughed at him. Kia-Leigh is a nut too, it seems like kids are always saying off the wall stuff and making me laugh. Well I better go for now because I am supposted to be working... LOL!!
I can't take anymore stress! My husband and I are tottally stressed to the max. We have tryed to help people out and in doing so has cut our family short and now we are stressing on how we are going to make!! We really don't know what else to do. We have bent over backwards to help my in-laws and it seems like they don't appriciate anything we do for them. I am always having it thrown in my face by them the I am hateful and mean. I really don't see how they see that because I am always doing for them and giving to them, but you know what I hate to be hard but I am nolonger going to do anything for anyone but my little family who is in my house unless God himself tells me to. As soon as my step-daughter has her baby we are leaving state. I know that running away is not the answer to problems but being in this state around these people is toxic to us and our wellbeing. We have got to get away for our families sake. We don't have anyone here anyway so we believe that it would be good to take our kids and relocate them somewhere away from this garbage so that way it doesn't poisin them!! On a brighter note: My first day of college classes starts today! I am going to school online to get my Batcholers degree in Business Management!! I am the in the class of 2015!! I am really nervous and excited about it all at one time. My daughter graduates from high school in 2013 and then my son graduates from high school in 2015. Then the 2 grandkids will have to get through Elementry school, Middle school and then High school. I want them all to go to college also because I really believe that an education is very important in this day and time. Well I better go for now because all I seem to do lately is rate and rave. I am greatful of all of you who read my blog and support me. Thank you so much. Please keep reading and I promise to keep on blogging!!
Ok I am having a really bad day or month or whatever you want to call it!! My stress level is to the max!! I love all of my kids with all of my heart and my family and my grandkids so don't think I am complaining about them. My husband started a new job yesterday and now I have no childcare for out youngest grandchild so i have to quit my job and stay at home all day everyday again. I love spending time at home but I hate being stuck there day in and day out and feeling like I am nothing and not contributing to the family. He says I don't understand, but really I do because I have had to do it all of these years. I start at home college courses on 11/29/11 at Ashford University and I am getting my Associates Degree in Business Management. I don't know why I am bothering to do this because I don't know when I am ever going to use this knowledge. I feel like such a "witch" for complaining about this because I feel like I should sacrifice for the kids which I have always done even though Cody one of my sons says that I am a bad mother and now he won't talk to me and I haven't heard for him for 2 months. Luther lives with my dad in Virginia and works full time and he is doing good and he still loves me and talks to me. I havent seen him in over a year because he doesn't really have transpertation and we don't have a good way to visit yet either. Charles' oldest son hates us and doesn't even claim us which is like whatever, grow up. Amanda and Anthony live with us and they are both in high school. Amanda pretty much stays out of trouble and does what she is told to do but, Anthony on the other hand can be a handful at times because he gets an attitude so bad and I want to ship his butt off to bootcamp. I told him if things don't change then next year when he turns 16 I will pack his butt off to job corp. I love him so much but OMG at times I want to scream. Charles' daughter got married and she will be haveing a baby in Febuary. Her husband has a full time job and they have a stable home and she starts work tomorrow morning. I am so proud of her because it seems like things are finally coming together for good for her. Kia-Leigh the youngest granddaughter at our house is in Head Start but only part time which means that I can't work because I need 3 extra hours of Child Care and to get it I am going to have to jump through a crap load of hoops to get it if I even quailify. Dalton is in kindergarden and he is having problems with following directions and keeping his hands to himself in school and at home. Thanksgiving is Thursday and I am so dreading the holidays!! It seems so depressing because of my being gone and I just can't get myself in the holiday spirit and I feel so selfish being this way because of the kids but, I don't know what to do. I feel like crawling in the bed and just staying there forever!! But I can't do that to my kids they don't deserve that. It is just that everything seems like it is hitting me at once and I feel so alone and I have no one I can talk to or turn to because it seems like my husband just doesn't understand. I know he loves me and I love him, but he just don't get me. I have no true friends and I am so afraid to let anyone get close. I head is so much in a fog that when I went to the back to pick up a bank statement I went to the wrong bank!! Then I forgot my keys in the bank and had to walk back in, in the rain to get them. I love working but it is getting on my last nerve because people call in for food boxes which I love helping people but OMG they are so greedy they will lie to get what they want and then when you help them they want theirs and someone elses too!! I would just love to SCREAM!!!!
Crazy days at work!! Boy has it been crazy at work. We had a new program start yesterday and we served almost 150 people yesterday. It was non stop fast paced busy day. Today we think it might be a little slower because people might think we are closed because of election day, but we are open and ready to rock and roll. I don't mind if it stays slow though because it gives me a chance to write on my book and to blog. We got school pictures back for the kids and they look really good. We take Kia-Leigh on Friday to have her pictures taken on Friday because she is in Head Start and they don't do pictures. I am signed up with Wal-Mart's Picture Me Studios so I recieve free stuff and offers from them all the time, so her pictures this week will be free. I had a thought for a new book yesterday so I have written down my ideas but I am not going to start working on it until I finish this first one though. I know some people can write several books at one time but, I am not that talented yet. LOL! Well I know this is short but I figure a little bit is better than nothing. Please head over to watt pad and look for proudmom_1973 and check out my story A Fresh Start. Please comment and vote and become a fan of mine. Tell your friends about me please.
What is up with kids sometimes? I just don't understand them sometimes. You would think that after as many kids that I have raised or helped raised that I would be an expert on them. Yeah right!! It seems like every day it is something new. One don't want to act right in school, one gets mouthy at home, the other one don't seem to know how to organize her room and one has the attititude of a 21 year old. Now I don't want to seem like I am complaining because they really are good kids. I guess they could be worse at least they are not into drugs and stuff like that. Marriage life can be a trip at times also let me tell ya. My husband is between jobs right now and it is driving him and me crazy. He tells me everyday that he is not a nanny and he hates the idea of staying home and picking the little ones up from school and general house stuff. Don't get me wrong, he loves the kids and he likes to spend time with them but, he is used to working so being home drives him nuts. I really enjoy working so I know how he feels staying at home all the time and not feeling like you are contributing to the home, even though you really are. Also I have heard that it is harder on men than it is on women. We are looking for a new church not because we don't like the church we are going to but, because of some of the people in the church that we know personally. I don't agree with people who act one way in church and another out of church. I was raised to be myself 24/7. There are times when I am not perfect but, I don't act like something or someone I am not. I also don't believe in using a church to pay your bills. Now don't think I am knocking people who need help out with paying a bill every now and then. Everyone at sometime or another gets in a hard place and needs a hand up. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. The thing I have a problem with is when someone who has a means to pay their bills would rather get hand outs and then take their money and blow it. I have a problem with people who use churches for that reason. I don't agree with people abusing the welfare system either. There are sometimes that people do need to be on welfare, I believe that it is there to help people out. I don't believe that it is there to take care of you your whole life though. There does come a time in your life when you need to better yourself. Like go back to school and get yourself a career. I know that right not we are living in tough economical times and it is really hard to find a job and I really do understand that. I just don't think people should live on welfare and not be doing something to better their life. Quit using your kids as an excuse to get a check and then lay around and work the system because it gives those of us who are trying a bad name. Well I guess I have ranted and raved enough for one day so I will stop writing now and go try to write some more on my book. I hope I have not offended anyone and if I have I appoligize. Thank you for reading my blog and supporting my writing and I hope that you all will continue to read and support me in my writing ventures.
My life sometimes gets so busy that I sometimes can't figure out which end is up. I forget what I am doing and what I have going on. I have not been writing on my book which makes me sad and I have not been writing on here either which also makes me sad. My step-daughter is now married and her new hubby is a really good man that takes good care of her. I have 2 new grandkids that came with my new son-in-law and they are too cute. Also we have a new grandbaby on the way at the begining of Febuary. It is a girl and I am looking forward to seeing her. Kia-Leigh and Dalton are doing good. Kia-Leigh is going to Head Start by herself without me having to be there with her now. I am working part-time now which keeps me busy which is a good thing at times. Dalton is having a few problems in Kindergarden which we are dealing with as they come along. He is having a problem staying on task and he is very hard headed and stubborn. There are no mental problems it is just a typical boy deal. Ups and downs are always a part of daily married life and life with children. I have to go to the Bariatric doctor this month for a check-up. I havent been in awhile so I finally am going back. I am now down to 235 pounds and I am wearing a 18/20 in jeans and a 2XL in shirts. I have seen such a big difference in the way I feel and how I look and I am so greatful that I am now able to enjoy my life and my family. My husband and I are going to do two 5Ks, one this month and one next month. I am really looking forward to doing them because it just amazes me at how I can walk around and not get out of breath. I am really breathing easier and that makes me so happy. I am attaching a new picture of myself so you all can see my progress. We went trick-or-treating with the kids last night and they really had a good time and they got a ton of candy which they really don't need but hey its only one time a year so I am not really going to care to much about it. They are pretty healthy kids and they are not over weight so I am really proud of them. Well I got to get back to work so I will try to do my best to write more on my blog and to write more on my book. Wish me luck!!
Ok well today is Friday and I have to work until 3 PM and then go to the store to get food for the wedding and then go get some last minute supplies. I finished the Boquets, bootenears and the corsage and flower petals last night. These past 2 weeks have really been crazy. Wednesday I went and had my teeth cleaned and whitened and I couldn't believe it but it really worked. I have always wanted to have my teeth whitened but had never had the opportunity until now. The dentist that I go to is so sweet and they really are gentle with everyone. My husband has a fear of dentists but he has agreed to go to my dentist because he saw how easy they were with me. We have the rehersal for the wedding this evening and I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I am so happy for my step-daughter because she has finally found a good man who loves her and takes really good care of her. Yes she has drove me crazy over the years but that is just part of being a parent of a teenager I guess. Now I am going through it with one of my sons and it is really breaking my heart the way he is doing but that is ok because I do know that God is in control and in the end everything will be ok. I let it really get to me at first and I cryed alot about it because we used to be so close but, I finally had to say that I had to put it in God's hands and let go. I still text him 3 times a week just to let him know that I love him and that I am praying for him but he never responds to anything that I send. I have a job now and I really enjoy it because it is something that I love to do. Not only am I helping people but I am getting out of the house and feeling like I am acomplishing something with my life. Kia-Leigh likes school now which is good. Sometimes she tries to cling to my leg but, her teacher is wonderful and she works with her so I am not worried about leaving her. Charles is working driving a cab which he likes and it gives him something to do so that keeps him happy. He picks Kia-Leigh up from Head Start at 12:30 PM and then gets Dalton off the bus at 2:50 PM and then I get home by 3:30 PM and then he is sometimes off to work again depending on if they need him or what day it is. Weekends are crazy for him so I don't see a whole lot of him then. We still have our ups and downs but since we are not spending every waking moment together it has gotten a lot better. I think that is pretty normal because if you never get a moments break from each other you tend to ride each others nerves. Anthony and Amanda are doing good in high school and I am really glad because I want them to have a good education and then go on to college and make something of themselves. I want them to have a carreer that they will be happy with and not just something that they have to do to survive. I work because I have to but also I work somewhere that the I like and the people I work with are really great. I have down time so it give me an opportuity to upload my blog and also to work on my book and upload chapters as I complete them. I have uploaded up to chapter 8 so far and there is plenty more to come. Stop over at www.wattpad.com and check it out and please become a fan, vote and comment. My name on there is proudmom_1973 and my book is A Fresh Start it is my first on and hopefully there will be many more to come. Well I better get back to work. I will blog more Monday and let everyone know how that wedding went. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. If you like this blog please become a follower and tell all of your friends about me.
Well I know it has been a little time and for those of you who read my blog and follow me I apoligize for not keeping up with my blog. I have a new job as a clerical aide for a not for profit organization. I really enjoy my job because it is a passion of mine and it is also easy and a clerical position. Right now it is part time but I am hoping that it eventually turns into a full time postion. I have all the kids in school now and it is wonderful because they are all doing really good in school. I am doing good on my weight loss journey and I am now 242 pounds and wearing a size 18/20. I got to go get some new clothes which was so awesome because it felt strange picking out clothes because holding them they still in my mind didn't look like they would fit me. I still in my mind I guess look the same but when I look at my pictures side by side I am like WOW!! I showed the before and after pictures to some coworkers and they have told me that I don't look the same. I am planning a wedding right now and for my step-daughter. She sprung it on me at the last minute but that is ok because I am really loving helping her plan a beautiful wedding. We are doing it in Purple and Lavendar and we almost have everything together. We are doing the food ourselves and I am making boquets, booteneers and corsages. We have all together invited over 150 people, there is going to be a dj and I can't wait to dance and have some fun. I am very proud of her for finally setaling down and making something of her life. I'm am by no means saying that she needs a man to complete her but, she is expecting baby number 5 and this is this babies daddy and they really do love each other and he is a good guy and has a steady job and a home. The other 4 kids are being well taken care of and they are in stable homes. My husband and I have custody of 2 and the aunt has custody of one and hopefully by next year the youngest will be back home with his mommy. I know she loves her kids very much because she has done the best for them by allowing them to be placed in good homes. Some people give her alot of greif about the decisions that she has made in her life but, I really believe that those people need to butt out and mind their own business because they don't know the whole situation. She went back to school and recieved her GED and now she is schedualling her class to go to college to become a radial technologist. One of my sons moved out because of a disagreement with his step-father and now he is not speaking to me because apearently he feels that I am a bad mother for not standing up for him and he knows good and well that I stood up for him and had a huge argument with my husband over it. He has always wanted to move out and I feel he was just using this as a excuse to be on his own. He works a full time job and has money in the bank and he is living with people from his church but he still wants to act like he is on his own. I guess he will eventually realize that the grass isn't greener on the other side. He lived with us for free and all we asked was that he keep his room clean and help out around the house on his days off. Oh well my step-daughter came over last night and said "mama don't cry he is just going through that faze that we all go through and he will get over it, I love you!" she can be a sweet heart when she wants to be. My oldest son moved out with is grandpa a year ago and he don't call or nothing and he lives out of state. I have been real sad over all of this but I will be ok becasue I know that God is in control of my life and everything is going to be ok.
